Category: Media

Sam and Jamie speak with Dean Spade about his new book, Love in a F*cked Up World: How to Build Relationships, Hook Up, and Raise Hell Together. Why did Dean decide to write a self-help book geared towards organizers, and what are the stakes of this work? Why has neither Sam nor Jamie ever seen an accountability process succeed? What openings does he see for the left to take up self-improvement as a non-reactionary project? All this, plus the hosts get candid about some of their own experiences.

Care Chats are short, mindful conversrations where we share what’s on our hearts. Join TanyaMarck + Nick + Dean Spade for this juicy chat about what it means to liberate love + beauty + queer joy during challenging times. 

Our conversation goes into nitty gritty relationship issues and zooms out to the ways these affect our collective work. We talk about how anarchists and leftists deprioritize and avoid doing this internal and interpersonal work, only to find that all of the problems appear in every place you go. It is so important to talk explicitly about our social needs and how our collective work fits into them. We can’t separate politics and love. Meetings are social spaces and our search for political direction is completely enmeshed in our search for intimate connection.

Lindsay and Ilyse speak with activist and author of “Love in a Fucked Up World,” Dean Spade on the healing power of relationships and how to have better ones. Dean shares all he has learned about relationships through his own hilling journey and being in activist spaces. They touch on each of their favorite topics including app culture, grief, attachment, and sexuality. You don’t want to miss out on Dean’s wisdom and Lindsay’s tears.

Informed by over two decades of experience pushing for trans liberation and racial and economic justice, Spade’s new book discusses the urgency of building sustainable, accountable, and truly abolitionist interpersonal relationships that empower us to resist state violence over the long haul. In a time of increasing despair, he urges us to move beyond symbolic actions and embrace riskier, more meaningful forms of action that require trust, deep solidarity, and real vulnerability. We touch on Spade’s personal journey of radicalization, think about some of the potential of this moment, and unpack some concrete tools for self-reflection and expression.

Thanks to Xandan Gulley for this generous review of Love in a F*cked-Up World, the first review from an incarcerated reader. Grateful to @study__struggle, @1977books, @algonquinbooks, and Marguerite Casey Foundation for helping get books to people inside.

Xandan (he/him) has spent over 12 years in solitary confinement for his gender identity and as retribution for his exposes unveiling the inhumane conditions that transgender prisoners face daily. Some of Xandan’s published work can be found in LGBTQ Nation, Black Lipstick, The Advocate, San Francisco Bayview, Prism, and Texas Letters. Xandan was a 2023 recipient for the Ridgeway Reporting Project grant.

“Our movements are pretty much just made of our relationships — whether we can move together, coordinate, collaborate, figure out disagreements [and] stay loyal to each other when the repression comes down,” says Dean Spade. In this episode Dean and Kelly discuss the lessons of Dean’s new book, Love in a F*cked-Up World: How to Build Relationships, Hook Up, and Raise Hell Together.

“I think the first line of support, ideally, is friendship, and a lot of people right now don’t have any friends.” Dean Spade (@spade.dean) became a go-to for guidance on mutual aid during the pandemic. Now he’s back with a book of advice on love and relationships. In a candid conversation with Angelica Castro-Mendoza, Spade explains why he thinks the self-help genre has radical potential despite its tendency to individualize solutions to social problems, and how interpersonal conflict derails movements.