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Informed by over two decades of experience pushing for trans liberation and racial and economic justice, Spade’s new book discusses the urgency of building sustainable, accountable, and truly abolitionist interpersonal relationships that empower us to resist state violence over the long haul. In a time of increasing despair, he urges us to move beyond symbolic actions and embrace riskier, more meaningful forms of action that require trust, deep solidarity, and real vulnerability. We touch on Spade’s personal journey of radicalization, think about some of the potential of this moment, and unpack some concrete tools for self-reflection and expression.

Thanks to Xandan Gulley for this generous review of Love in a F*cked-Up World, the first review from an incarcerated reader. Grateful to @study__struggle, @1977books, @algonquinbooks, and Marguerite Casey Foundation for helping get books to people inside.

Xandan (he/him) has spent over 12 years in solitary confinement for his gender identity and as retribution for his exposes unveiling the inhumane conditions that transgender prisoners face daily. Some of Xandan’s published work can be found in LGBTQ Nation, Black Lipstick, The Advocate, San Francisco Bayview, Prism, and Texas Letters. Xandan was a 2023 recipient for the Ridgeway Reporting Project grant.

“Our movements are pretty much just made of our relationships — whether we can move together, coordinate, collaborate, figure out disagreements [and] stay loyal to each other when the repression comes down,” says Dean Spade. In this episode Dean and Kelly discuss the lessons of Dean’s new book, Love in a F*cked-Up World: How to Build Relationships, Hook Up, and Raise Hell Together.

“I think the first line of support, ideally, is friendship, and a lot of people right now don’t have any friends.” Dean Spade (@spade.dean) became a go-to for guidance on mutual aid during the pandemic. Now he’s back with a book of advice on love and relationships. In a candid conversation with Angelica Castro-Mendoza, Spade explains why he thinks the self-help genre has radical potential despite its tendency to individualize solutions to social problems, and how interpersonal conflict derails movements.

n this episode of ‘Friendless,’ host James Avramenko meets and converses with Dean Spade—a lawyer, writer, and activist known for his work on queer and trans liberation. Dean discusses his new book, ‘Love in a Fucked Up World,’ and explores themes such as the importance of enthusiasm during tough times, the necessity of grounding oneself in reality, and the complexities of personal and community responsibility. The conversation delves into creating authentic connections, building community support systems, the significance of direct feedback, and the challenges of maintaining self-respect while engaging in activism. Dean also shares personal anecdotes, including his journey in writing his latest book and how inspiration serves as a form of protection and guidance.