Author: Dean

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Leadership Qualities that Support Mutuality and Collaboration

I am involved with organizations that are always striving to support people growing more skills for making the world more aligned with values of justice and mutuality. We’re figuring out ways to make decisions together and share resources together and everything else it takes to build the social conditions we want. One part of this work is shedding the baggage of what we’re told in a racist, colonial, patriarchal society counts as “leadership.” That model is usually about individuality, competition, and domination. We are imagining and working to practice other ways of leading. I made a chart that I hope is a handy discussion tool in organizations that are thinking about how to live their values. I think it might go well paired with this chart I posted before about qualities of organizational cultures.

Leadership Qualities Supporting Mutuality vs. Hierarchy

Hierarchical Leadership Qualities

Just and Accountable Leadership

Successful by dominating others/being the decider

Supports the growth of decision making processes that include everyone effected by the decision

My way or the highway

Wants to find out how others are doing, what they need or believe, what they want

Self-promoting

Eager to help many people develop leadership skills and share the spotlight

Concerned with maintaining reputation, looking like “the best”, looking “right”

Willing to admit mistakes

Arrogant and grandiose

Humble and dignified

Good at talking and commanding

Good at communicating: sharing and listening

Wins others’ support through status, fear, or because others are climbing

Wins support by being supportive and trustworthy

Certain I’m right

Open to influence and changing opinion

Concerned about reputation of organization

Concerned about organization’s material impact—does it alleviate suffering and increase justice?

Fosters competition in the group

Fosters compassion and a desire that no one is left out of the group

Paranoid

Generous and open to newcomers while holding boundaries 

Impulsive—plans change with my whims

Holds steady to the groups’ decisions and purpose; Reliable

Judgmental and exclusive

Can tolerate people being a lot of different ways; sees potential in people to become part of the work for change and helps them develop skills and abilities

Gets sense of self from status 

Self-accepting and steady in sense of self, so able to take risks or hold unpopular opinions

Cares most what elites think

Cares most what those on the bottom of hierarchies think and know; works to cultivate authenticity

Needs to be center of attention

Can take the risk of being seen, can step back so others can be seen

Insensitive to others’ feelings

Sensitive and responsive

Tells people what to do

Avoids advice-giving unless asked, instead interested in supporting people to make decisions that align with their values

Seeks immediate gains, even if it means big compromises

Sees the long view and holds to values

Gives demeaning feedback or fails to give feedback or gossips instead of giving direct feedback

Gives direct feedback in a compassionate way

Defensive, closed to feedback

Open to feedback, interested in how I impact others 

Controlling, micromanaging

Can delegate, can ask for help, wants more people’s participation rather than more control

Outcome-oriented

Supports processes with integrity that lead to more people participating in decision-making

Seeks and demands comfort

Interested in what can be learned from discomfort, from changing roles or being out of place, from conditions transforming

Ways to use this chart:

  1. Write or talk in your group about what is missing from these lists.
  2. Circle qualities you see in yourself that you are working to cultivate and grow. What might help them grow?
  3. Circle qualities you see in yourself that are challenging or don’t fit your values. What helps you move toward not acting out of those qualities? Where did you learn those qualities? How did they serve you? How did they get in the way of what you want or believe in?
  4. Notice qualities that are prevalent in organizations you are in. What could help cultivate the ones you think are beneficial and reduce the ones that are harmful?

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Webinar, radio interview, and podcast

Yesterday, I did an interview with KUOW’s The Record about how Washington and many other jurisdictions are adding an “X” option as a gender marker on DMV ID. I talked about why we should, in addition to working to make it easier to change gender markers, work to eliminate gender markers from ID and oppose ID. I tried to tie this conversation about the X to opposition to law enforcement–policing and immigration enforcement–and all government and corporate surveillance. 

Today I’m giving a webinar for Showing Up for Racial Justice at 5pm Pacific, 8pm Eastern. Join if you can, or they might have it available recorded after. Not sure.

Finally, I recently got to talk to Nick Venegoni on his Queer Spirit podcast about the self-help book for activists that I’ve been working on for about five years. I also want to recommend his interview with my sister, Lis Goldschmidt.

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Animated video about mutual aid!

Things are rough right now. A lot of people are pissed, scared, and overwhelmed. What can we do? Does it make a difference to vote? To post on social media? This video is about mutual aid as a key strategy of resistance, survival, and mobilization.

 Mutual aid projects are a form of political participation in which people take responsibility for caring for one another and changing political conditions, not just through symbolic acts or putting pressure on their representatives in government, but by actually building new social relations  that are more survivable. Watch this video, and check out the mutual aid toolkit to start your own local projects.  

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Stonewall Was Not a “Peaceful Protest”

For Pride 2019 and the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall rebellion, I wrote an op-ed for Out Magazine. 

Op-ed: Honor Our Stonewall Veterans by Being Your Most Queer Militant Self

The Stonewall rebellion was not a “peaceful protest.” Queer and transgender people threw shoes and bottles at cops who routinely raided gay bars, beat and raped queer and trans people. Today, under the direction of a multi-million dollar Pride industry, Stonewall is celebrated with big parades where police, the military, banks, and politicians wave rainbow flags. In some cities, the cops roll out special rainbow-painted police cars. The radical acts of rage and disobedience against illegitimate authority that erupted at Stonewall are now reflected back as a story about “progress” in which the institutions that run our lives through coercion and violence claim to be “gay friendly.” 

Continue reading “Stonewall Was Not a “Peaceful Protest””

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New Syllabi and Article about Feminism and War

Sarah Lazare and I recently published an article raising concerns about the celebratory declarations the media has been making as women take leadership positions in defense industry companies and military and intelligence government agencies. Thanks to Jacobin for republishing it.

In other news, I am teaching Race and Law for the first time this semester, and teaching Gender and Law again and added some new books and articles. I am thinking about pulling together all the reading questions I give the students and posting those with the syllabi as well in case they are of use to other teachers or to reading groups. Look out for those soon!

And here is a picture of my dog Bennie, when he was a puppy, with the dearly departed Shelby.